Is there a cost to sobriety?
I personal believe there is and what it truly requires is some change. I’m not here talking about the monetary type but more so the inner self type. Change comes form my willingness. We don’t need to change our physical features or the state we live in but we do need to change the things we can’t physically see in ourselves. We know they are there. The important stuff. We need to allow this program to change us. A little change in the beginning will always turn into a lot of change for the better. When I say I am willing in this program of recovery, I am saying I am willing to change the way I think, the way I feel and most important to me, change the way I act. I had made this decision in Step 3, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” In this step when we say our “will”, this is the way we think and feel. When we say our “lives” we are talking about our actions. It’s no wonder I struggled for many years in Recovery and I now see it was because I wasn’t willing to do a thorough 3rd step and I sure as heck was not willing to change anything about me. I was still convinced that all of my problems and defects were your fault. I figured not using was enough right? Yea right. In the first two steps I had admitted that there was a problem and the problem was MARK (me). In the second step I decided that there was a solution and the solution WAS NOT MARK (me). And the third step was deciding if I wanted to continue living in the problem or now live in the solution. That’s all step three is about, a decision. I was then convinced. Of what? Convinced I was living my life on free will which was a mirror image of myself on a selfish rampage. Until I was convinced of this, my thinking, feelings and actions were not going to change. Of course my problems and shortcomings won’t change either. A lot of people around me said they saw changes in me way before I saw them or even felt them. This blew me away and convinced me God was doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself. This was all directly after finding a sponsor and working past step 3. HIS terms and not mine produced more change than I could ever imagine and with it I could fill up a million fountains. Or more importantly become the person I not only want to be but the person I was born to be.
“Change”- to make or become different, modify
My name is Mark and I am an alcoholic.