February 8 2004, I lost my belief in God…it was the day my father died.  I asked God…why, why in the world would YOU take my father? In 2002 my father was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer, it was the worst day of my life. So I did what every Catholic raised person would do, I prayed but I prayed when it was convenient for me.  On February 8th 2004, he passed away. Not five months later on June 6th 2004, my favorite aunt who was diagnosed with the same thing passed away too.

It was the worst four month span of my life! So what did I do? I put two fingers in the air and turned my back on God and my will over to crystal meth. I “felt” so much better, it took all my pain away or so I thought. But in reality it was the start of my problems for the next eight years to come. Why did I need the belief of a higher power when I had my meth? In that time I got married but the only thing we had in common was meth and it ruined my marriage. It only lasted one year and one month to the day. There was a lot of verbal and physical abuse which accumulated from our meth use. Continue reading →